I got a deal for you!
I won’t whine if you don’t. Nobody wants to hear it, anyway. As a middle aged Middle Class Guy living in the Midwest, nobody really wants to hear of my woes. Tales of overcoming woes people want to read and hear about.
Let us resolve together here and now to do our best to quit whining and get to work in 2018.
We need to own our own attitudes, decisions, behaviors, reactions and emotional investments. When we are feeling down in the dumps, as I have lately most workday mornings while on my way to work for my new boss in my new department, I have to check myself along the way.
I am striving to challenge my reactions and redirect my anxiety to generate some energy and positive feelings while at work. Many a lesser man would not have made the recent transition to a new office and a somewhat blundering, but generally good-willed, new boss fourteen years my junior.
I am striving to gain some amount of control over my own schedule and activities, as I had for the past twelve years under my old boss, and not become the slave to a negative situation and my weaker, less constructive emotions.
True, I do complain a bit more than before when at home recounting my stressful day to my wife, but I am trying to improve upon that, too.
In her book, stop whining, START LIVING, Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote that some of us consider ourselves one-note musical instruments, either happy or sad; angry or glad; hateful or loving; and so forth. In truth, she writes that ambivalence is a normal part of the human being – and being able to cope with more than one note or chord is essential to a full and joyful life.
After reading that, I realized that I ran a full gamut of emotions today, from being mad, to happy, to anxious, to aggressive, to passive, to contemplative, to lustful, to guilty, to gritty to wistful. I can recall well the moments when I felt these and realize upon writing this that it is completely normal to feel this range of emotions, and more, within the same day. Sometimes you can feel them all within the same hour or even minute.
It is a test of maturity and grit to confront a mood and reject it. One of the most difficult things to do is get active or accomplish something difficult when you are feeling low. I should know, having been there more times that I can count.
But like the song by Chumbawumba says,
I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down
Unfortunately, sadness and disappointment is a fact of life.
There are countless tragedies, accidents, disappointments, losses, challenges, betrayals, problems, diseases and other things beyond our control that effect all of us.
If you have reached a certain age, as I have, then you, too, have experienced great losses.
Beyond those, there is growing strife in our country, a widening gap between the Powers That Be and the rest of us, hatred and random acts of violence and malevolence that make everyday life a struggle for most people.
There never seems to be a shortage of bad news or things breaking down or the threat of attack or people trying to hack into what you and I have worked so hard for. Many people would be happy to take what we have worked years or decades to achieve for their own benefit without giving it a second thought.
On that cheery note, I again urge us not to be whiners.
Part of being less of a whiner and more of a winner is to check yourself daily and learn to recognize those situations that make you feel negative. Let’s take more control over these situations and become masters of overcoming rather than slaves to the weaker, less constructive emotions like anxiety, anger and frustration.
Blaming our work and life situations, bad experiences, bosses, coworkers, parents or children, spouses or plain old bad luck is easy. I have blamed all of the above, then some, for my unfortunate situation at work, our mounting expenses and lack of funds, my own lack of organization and years of lacking the drive to become successful.
Why then have my younger and brother become more successful? What has stopped me from better utilizing my writing and speaking ability? It certainly is not my new thirty-two-year-old boss.
The person who has held me back the most stares back at me in the mirror every morning when I brush my teeth and shave. Even though I am well-known to be a hard, diligent and honest worker, I have always done so at the behest of others and never for myself prior to launching this blog and publishing eBooks.
I do not know your story, but a lack of my own effort, courage, patience and commitment has held me back somewhat. I have found it easier to read fiction and watch TV or surf the web for hours every single night for the past several decades instead of the more unpleasant task of writing or at least reading about self-improvement.
A new year is nearly upon us. We can hope that it will be better than this one, or the last one, or the year before that, but we are far better off taking concrete baby steps one small goal at a time to become our more ideal us.
Whining about our predicaments and that which makes us unhappy does not seem to help in my experience. Although it may make me feel a little better to complain to my wife about work for a few minutes, it nonetheless does not change anything the next day when I go back.
I cannot truthfully write here that I Resolve not to whine or complain about things anymore, but I certainly will do less of it next year.